Eight Pillars of Independent Families

Eight Pillars of Independent Families: A Guide for Parents and Counsellors uses The Declaration of Arbroath (Scotland) (1320); the Act of Abjuration (Holland) (1581); the American Declaration of Independence (1776); and the Declaration of the Rights of Man and of the Citizen, August 1789 (France) as platforms to explore what liberty, equality, fraternity (fellowship), freedom, respect, the right of life, the pursuit of happiness. and justice (fairness) means to individuals and to families.

Throughout the book strong, independent families are contrasted with dysfunctional families. Counsellors are more likely to asked to deal with dysfunctional families than with strong, independent families. The characteristics of a dysfunctional family contrast markedly with those of strong, independent families in almost every respect. The differences can be crystallised in that strong, functional parents respect and instil in their children a belief in their uniqueness and worth. Parents of dysfunctional families are likely to raise children whose self-esteem buckets are so full of holes that they have little self-esteem.

Very often nations achieve independence through violence and war. Likewise, children whose independence is not respected and encouraged may only achieve their independence by cutting themselves off from their parents. Parents who believe in independence train their children – dependent upon age and maturity – to become independent people who have a contribution to make to society. A nation which believes in independence respects its citizens who feel they have a contribution to make to the nation.

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